Recently I was reading an early version of The Blueprint by
I thought about confidence in relation to me and my life. I thought about why I was confident, when I am most confident, what makes me confident, etc…
But then I stopped. Hey
So I then reminded myself that questions are one of the most useful tools I have. They can change my focus and direction instantly.
I was asking myself the wrong questions.
I shouldn’t be asking myself any W question of confidence, but how am I internally confident.
Sure I can say I’m confident, other people tell me I’m confident, I have references in my mind that tell me I’m confident. And at the same time those are all situational, not core.
They aren’t authentic.
I thought some more and I came to a realization.
I am confident because…..nothing.
As soon as you have a reason your confident, it strips it of any realness.
At the same time, I’m a guy. I’m pretty logical, so there must be something……
Well the closest *thing* I could come up with, was, I am on a path to be the person I want to be. I occasionally go into a state where I AM THE PERSON I WANT TO BE.
Hence at that moment, in the moment, there is no want. I just am.
So this leads me to believe that living your life in congruence is a source of core confidence.
More importantly though, living your life in congruence clearly demonstrates that you have taken down many barriers that YOU have let society impose upon you.
When you are living your life, in congruence with your own standards, formed from your own belief system, which was formed by your own honesty with yourself and perseverance… you express core confidence.
The “self” comes through.
Why?
If you must know, living your life this way, is the ultimate test.
People pick up on this. It’s like a laser beam shooting out of you made of this core. It attracts all people, both men and women, because they want a piece of it. This is why when your super *in state* at a night club, girls are clawing at you.
THEY WANT STATE TO.
Basically though, you were born confident, smiling, and happy as can be (except when they spanked you bare ass), and there’s no reason not to be this way as an older person.
It’s like the best attitude to have with life overall, is that of a big happy baby.
Im still struggling with this myself, but Ive begun working on it. I tried it the other night (posted about it in My Transformation thread), and man it really FUCKED with my head.
It was as if someone had taken my legs out from under me when I went up to a group of girls and with a deep level of conviction said to myself “hey, I was born confident, all that shit in the past is well and good but has no effect on my level of confidence. The past does not equal the future.”
So I encourage everyone to go out and try this in daily life. It can be out when your gaming, or it can be whenever you try to rationalize being confident, doesn’t matter where or when, the important thing is just attempting it and applying yourself.
It’s tricky to really dig that deep and face your fears, but man it’s well worth it. I learned a ton that night, and this concept is sticking with me for a long, long time.
I was going to end the post here but I wanted to link this to another quick concept, which is reactions and manifesting them.
The other night I went downstairs at Project Orlando, about my roommates were talking about bad reactions from women.
Man Ive had like zillions of those….=).
Anyways what they were talking about specifically got me thinking on a deeper level, and made me realize something I do now, that I didn’t always.
Basically every once in a while (more so in the early days) I’ll say something really stupid to a chick.
Here’s the thing though, what comes out of your mouth is filtered through your own mind a split second before the girls.
What used to happen to me was I would get all reactive, before she even responded (and this is like a 1 second time span), and this would giver her permission to give a bad reaction.
This still happens every once in a while, were all human, but what I realized I started doing a few months ago was actively not caring. It’s a really small detail, but I sub consciously picked up on the fact that it was my non verbal communication in that 1 second time span that caused the bad reaction, not the other way around.
I assumed the negative. I said something stupid, assume she would have a bad reaction (my non verbals told her this very clearly), and hence she did. I manifested the response.
I think a lot of guys go through this, and the first step to solving any problem is identifying it.
Try going out, and say something that will get you blown out of a set, notice your OWN non verbal communications, and then next time this happens (on purpose or by chance), actively focus your attention to just staring blankly at the girl, and then keep talking.
Eventually it will be second nature to let your own mistakes go in one ear and out the other, and you’ll have far better interactions when you slip up.
-Dream
