As most of you know (anyone that reads my Transformation thread anyways) I had a pretty fucked up day and night yesterday. I don’t know how visible it was on the outside, particularly the cold approaches last night, but man I was ALL fucked up on the inside. Mentally, emotionally, physically… damn it was one of the worst lows of my life.
You know what though?
I’m back, and better than ever.
“Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.
I remember back when I played high school football my coaches would comment every once in a while about me. What I remember most clearly was how they said whenever I got knocked out (especially when I was an under classmen lol), I was ALWAYS first to get back up. NOTHING could keep me down (eventually my left knee shit on me but hey that’s life).
What came to me though, and is the name of this post, are my glory days. I used to think up till this morning that my glory days consisted of me at my beginning stages, days when I wore stuff like this
What I realize now though is that glory days should never end. Man what the fuck is pleasure without pain? It’s nothing, that’s what it is. Without a reference point, a contrast, it’s not in existence.
That said, I believe my life should and will be, ultimately, emotionally more balanced than it is now. It takes more and more to knock me either up or down, while at the same time I want to feel the good emotions I deserve.
So ya, yesterday was a glory day. So was that SNL the other week. I’m sure I’ll have more before my life is over, and I’m not worried about it. Why? Because I truly believe after yesterday that I can handle anything thrown at me if I devote all of my mental/physical/emotional/intellectual resources to it.
What this comes down to is mental, INNER, strength.
TD touched on it in one of his recent posts, he consistently only finds advice and answers from within. It’s like the other day when my FB was acting up via SMS, I wasn’t sure how to handle it. This is my first FB. I could have asked slikk, or my buddy Curtis, but that would have been external advice and not have helped me grow.
I said to myself, what would I DO in this situation. I asked MYSELF, deep down how to handle it. I found the answer and everything went smoothly. Now I have that reference for next time to help me draw strength upon.
Inner strength, in my opinion, also comes from the feeling of contribution. When you help someone, with NO GAIN for yourself, or at least none you can perceive at that moment. It’s like hey this person needs help, Ive been there before, let’s see what I can do without hindering myself anymore than I would expect myself to in his situation.
Like the other night at House of Blues in downtown Disney. I was walking down the stairs and these 2 dudes were about to fight. I just got that vibe that it wasn’t right, one guy was stepping way over the line (he had the smaller guy by the neck), probably being a chode about some stupid shit. Well I spotted a bouncer not to far from this incident, firmly grabbed his shoulder and told him what was about to happen 20 feet away from him. He thanked me and rushed over while calling over 10 other bouncers.
I never saw what happened, nor will the guy who didn’t die that night ever meet me or even know about me. I had no obligation to do that, other than my own self telling me “hey that sucks for him, I’ve been there before and wished someone would lend out a hand for me”.
Anyways time to *wrap it up* .
Till next time guys
-Dream
ps- Damn that was a good episode of DC
